Saturday, January 31, 2009

Scatophobia.

I finally fixed my comments problem..yay! Me smart! Now people can comment normally. Well, I did witness one crazy fight and one arrest tonight, but other than that I just froze outside today. I would like winter a fuck of a lot more if it felt more like summer. I have posted three lovely photos of my psychotic mexican cat whom I suspect might need kitty prozac. I got this feline in Tulum, Mexico where John and I were snorkeling and staying in a little hut. He was begging scraps from the tables of an outdoor restaurant and I, crazy cat lady that I am, began feeding him. I bought him cans and cans of cat food and I assumed he was a few weeks old because he was so thin and small. He really was scared and feral but he would kinda sit by me after he ate though he wouldn't let me touch him. Sucker that I am I freaked out the morning we left and talked John into letting me try and trap him and take him home with us. John grabbed him at the restaurant and the cats bowels let go and doody just SPRAYED everywhere..That was pretty charming and I knew I had to have him! We got him shots there at like 6 in the morning and papers and put him in a duffel bag after heavily sedating him..Turns out he was 5 months old. And now it's seven years later and this little freak of a cat I call Delgado will only let me touch him. He has lived with John and I this long, but John still scares the shit out of him! He is like my little boyfriend..He sleeps with his paws around me and cries at the door when I'm not home...This is really sweet but have I mentioned that he is completely nuts? He is obsessed with his own feces. He uses the litter box, then jumps out of it, looks at his own poop, and flips out. All his hair stands on end and he races around the apartment bouncing off the walls. Then he spies the same damn smudge on the wall that's been there 10 years and starts going mental on it. Oh-and did I mention that he freaking ATE all of his teeth? Yeah, his gums are bad so his teeth began falling out and he just swallowed them all. Now he just has fangs left. And he's really fat. And my other cat Harlequinn hates him so much that she has irritable bowel syndrome? And the last time I took him to the vet he escaped and hid for an hour and they had to trap him in a giant net? Don't get me wrong...I love him to death..I even made a myspace for him myspace.com/delgadocat. But he really is nuts, And he stands on my boobs every morning to wake me up. And right now he is eyeing the litter box like he plans on making some awfully stinky cat cookies in it, and then possibly act like a lunatic. Sigh.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Biker Billy Versus Biker Bill.

There is a war raging out in the streets now...Biker Bill has recently discovered an imposter calling himself...wait for it..wait for it....Yes! Biker Billy. Apparently, according to my powers of GOOGLING, Biker Billy is semi-famous as a chef and even appeared this past week on The Today Show... Well, the REAL Biker Bill is not pleased by this galavanting gourmet. In fact, I would say he is spitting mad.. Here we see the two Biker Bills..One is in his natural habitat hanging out in the hood with bikers. The other..well, he seems to have flames coming out of his shoulders.. Which is the real Biker Billy? Stay tuned....

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Slacktivists celebrate Pagans passing...

With the passing of Antonio Pagan, former NYC councilman, hated by squatters, the homeless, and pretty much anyone else that gives a shit about saving this freaking city, City Hall will be flying the flag at half staff to honor his memory. Rumor has it that the SLACKTIVISTS will also be honoring his memory..by burning a flag in Tompkins Square Park this saturday around 8:00 p.m. I'll be sure to attend! Here's a link to the NY Times article with all kinds of comments about Pagan below it... http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/01/26/antonio-pagan-50-ex-councilman-is-dead/

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

East River String Band

Since i've been hiding indoors and trying to learn the damn guitar since sunday I have nothing new to comment on. So I will self promote and post a few videos of my band East River String band playing... One is at a show we played on shelter island over the summer..Bye Bye Baby Blues (by Little Hat Jones) with the great Robert Crumb sitting in on mandolin..Is there nothing that man can't do dammit? The other is John and I doing Memphis Minnie's Me and My Chauffeur Blues...Oh..maybe i'll throw in Nobody's Business just cause that song is fun to play...

Monday, January 26, 2009

Ray's Birthday Bash!

Last night was Ray's 76th birthday and there was a small shindig at his store on Avenue A. The usual suspects were there..Biker Bill, Bob Arihood, Chris Flash, John Penley, and of course me. And Ed was there! Ed is my favorite weirdo..He likes to tell me what he eats every day, if cat food is on sale at the store, and how he is looking for a wife. Check out the pic of him at the top..He should be a character actor! The girl danced and stripped on top of the counter..and Ray was pretty happy as you can see. He had two birthday cakes, fancy beer, and a free bottle of champagne provided by Ziggy from Odessa Bar next door. Aw..Everybody loves Ray! Not Raymond. I hate Raymond.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Sparks : Liquid Satan

Last night the infamous LES Jewels was out of jail and roaming Avenue A in the evening. He was calm and tranquil at first as shown in the first photo..a kinder gentler jewels. Then as he began drinking sparks, his mood began to change and he began panhandling, blocking traffic and yes, dropping his pants. No wonder sparks is being taken off the market..It is, quite simply, liquid satan.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

ZOO

Just watched a rather strange documentary called "Zoo." Basically, it was about the heartwarming relationship between a young lad and a spunky young chimp who set out into the world in search of adventure and possibly bananas... Actually, come to think of it, this film was actually about bestiality and a perverted man who dies after being shtupped by a horse. I guess the movie wasn't really all that heartwarming after all..Hmm..Oh well. Here's a few groovy photos my friend Tanya Pann took of John and I all gussied up and riding the nostalgia train they ran on the V line last month:

Does this blog make me look fat?

Alright, this is my first blog post...No fun pictures to post yet but they will come, I assure you.
Hopefully I will be posting amusing anecdotes, hilarious photos, shocking observations and maybe some obscenities which will more than likely get me banned from here...just like those prudish PHOTOBUCKET nazis who went into my account and deleted all my lovely pictures which brought so much  joy to so many on my myspace.com/edenbee page.
SOB!!!! 
I will just try to get the hang of this and will write about my daily life and crazy adventures which shall soon ensue around the east village and lower east side as it warms up a little...
Today my favorite paper The Villager ran a little article about Ray's Candy Store at 113 Avenue A. Ray is awesome and has been selling fries and ice cream to drunks, nutters, and hipsters alike for about 35 years now. Ray's is my favorite place to get drunk in front of on Avenue A and watch the parade of wingnuts sass the police and yuppies.
See neithermorenorless.blogspot.com and evgrieve.com for more of those type of shenanigans...
Sunday is Rays's 76th birthday and there are rumours of tranny strippers making an appearance.
I will go to whole foods and buy a few birthday cakes with my food stamps. Cause that's the kind of gal I am. Yuppers. my tat