Thursday, February 26, 2009

Counter Intelligence

Okay..There is a certain diner on Avenue A that has been there for many years. It has regulars that go and eat there every day. Often times, I must void urine. To do so, I need to find a bathroom unless I'm really drunk and decide to tinkle outside somewhere. I use the bathroom at this diner fairly often and sometimes end up sitting in there and talking to people..I have come to the realization that the same people sit there at the counter every day and almost every one of these people are under the impression that the CIA is after them or that they are surrounded by spies from the CIA. Now, I don't mean to be judgmental BUT I admit to having major doubts about these people being correct about this. When I asked them to provide evidence to prove their theories they said stuff like, "the waitress knocked on the table three times..obviously a CIA signal!" Anyhoo, I call these regulars The Counter Intelligence. Because they are sitting at a freakin' counter. Get it? Har! To prove how completely normal I myself am, I will post a photo of my most prized possession, which is framed and hanging in my room in a place of honor.


  1. 'the counter intelligence': now that's clever; I'm genuinely impressed. Well, it goes to show ya': beauty, grace, talent, sharp wit...they kinda go together...'re so lucky. I wish my local diner had more interesting paranoid schizophrenics. My diner is replete with more of the redneck variety (they have all the scare factor of a schizophrenic without the humor and intelligence)...

    ...that plaque...I feel jealousy, envy, ostracized (not being part of a certain inside elite group), a tad turned on (Caroline-Mrs. Ingalls-was hot!), and envious...and that made of marble or granite?

  2. I believe it's made of the tears of angels..Caroline was a babe, 'tis true..
    I was fascinated by The Counter Intelligence and then one of them started really screaming one night..Something along the lines of "Why won't the fucking jews and the CIA let me make my fucking money!"
    Now I try to void urine in places just as interesting but less full of Judeophobes. Plus, that bathroom was fucking crawling with Central Intelligence!

  3. Eden! Be very careful! You know that the CIA is coming after us now! And the other night they tried to poison me and Joanie with the chili;that's proof enough right there!!!!

  4. I like counter intelligence's challah french toast

  5. i ate snow with maple syrup drizzled ontop a la LTotP today.

    and i wish i was a polar bear.

    -amy k.

  6. Amy...I envy your dessert! I am a "Bi-Polar bear"!!! I just thought that you might like to know!!!!