Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Embarrassing photos of me.

Forced to take dance classes by my mother..I think I was dressed up as a chicken here. Loverly! Age 8 or 9. A miserable, depressed tomboy with a weird haircut. At Catskills hotel..age 14. yup, I had no friends..but that huge afro was company enough for me! Around 15 or 16 years old..Getting ready to follow the Dead around and do nitrous. All hippied out with John lennon glasses during the height of the 80's. This was more than likely my only friend. Yeah, that's me with the ginormous afro. Isn't she lovely.... You thought they were going to be naked pics didn't you, you old perv! I found some truly hideous old photos of myself ranging from 5 years old to teenage angst. Always the freak, I was a hippie at age 13 thus ensuring I was a junior high school and later high school outcast. Growing up in Flushing, Queens was miserable for me. So close to "The City", yet my classmates were bordering on rednecks. I was shunned for having a big afro, buck teeth, weird blue tinted glasses, and an unapologetic attitude. As wretched as it all was, I still didn't let anyone get to me..I knew they would all stay in queens and pop out babies and never become enlightened. I discovered Washington Square Park and later Tompkins and I did indeed become enlightened...But after ten years of drinking mad dog and cisco, I honestly for the life of me don't remember what I discovered. Oh well! I'm sure it wasn't important anyway! It is clear that I looked like a freak and probably acted like one too. I did have some friends who thought I was funny..but not one date did I go on. My first big relationship was with a 24 year old homeless guy I met in the park when I was 16. I wander around by myself a lot these days, and being a tiny fake blond, I get hit on a lot. I guess I seem approachable or something..I should carry these old photos around with me with my number written on the back to give to men. When guys hit on me, I like to hand them this card I have that says "Syphilis-It's Back!" I ask them if they want me to write my number on the back of it..They usually shake their heads and slowly back away. Or I saunter up to them and whisper, "My vagina. It's diseased," in a super sexy voice..Or I just look at their crotch and start laughing. They love this!

9 comments:

  1. Holy crap that is a hug afro. I heard that style is coming back. Represent.

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  2. Awh! This is so cute these photos (they didn't have photo machines when I was a kid...)

    I was gonna comment on here sooner--I come to read regularly--but been too shy to write. I was jus' sayin' to my first cousin, er, wife (sorry, it's just such a new marriage, I kain't get used ta that wurd) that you New Yorkers shoore must leed more interestin' lives then us down here in Virginny (that sounds like vagina, don't it?). Shoore been enjoyin' all thah excitement a' city life and kinship from this blog!

    Gotta go. The Mrs. wants some squirrel for dinner stew. I'm a might too laizee for huntin', but we gotta busy road out in front a' the trailer; shoot, I can find squirrel on thah side a' thah highway any day!

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  3. When I lived in Ohio I would feed the squirrels in my backyard..Then one day I found all these cute little squirrel hands and feet scattered everywhere. The neighbors had gotten hungry I guess. They ate my little friends, Brett..ATE THEM!!!!
    Have you seen Silence of the Lambs? Do you know why Hannibal became the monster that he is today? It's a similar story...
    Gotta go cook up some fava beans..soups on!

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  4. I only eat squirrels who died a' natural causes; they be too cute to kill, or even hurt. Hell, I cain't even hurt their feelins'...

    I saw the sequel to Silence of the Lambs a couple months ago on AMC or somewhere: I am still having nightmares! (YIKES!) I'll never be able to eat foot tar tar again!

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  5. These old photo's of you are extraordinary Eden...thank you so much for sharing them on the blog;(an additional treat,to go with the already "great" which you constantly provide!). I,also,really love the "Hippie Eden"!!! The end of a great era I'm sure!!! Remember,you can take the Eden away from the hippie;but you can never take the hippie away from the Eden!!!!

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  6. I hope that's not true! You can take all the hippies away from me any old time..Pleeeease!

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  7. nice jew fro----oh you heartbreaker!although it kinda has a bit of a mullet thing going on to,,,,,ever shave your head bald??you could rent it out for advertising space...ok im stoned

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