Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Clayton Patterson Captured

Went to see a screening of the film Captured tonight which is about Clayton Patterson who has been photographing and videotaping all the crazy shit that has gone down in the LES since 1979..He has been arrested many times and beaten by NYPD and became pretty well known after refusing to hand over the videos he took of the Tompkins Square Park riot in '88. The film was really well done and was kind of depressing too..so much life and vibrancy back then...now its all becoming frozen yogurt places and Starfucks..I'd take a little dangerous living and the insanity that was tent city over 2 banks on every damn corner and a Kmart on Astor Place. Ah well..The funniest part of the night was when Oprah was shown interviewing Clayton and everyone yelled "Oprah!" I guess everyone just really loves Oprah!

I tried to take pics but they came out crappy..I only got the one that kinda shows the crowd that was there(it was packed!) with that guy looking all freaked out for some reason. The photo of Clayton getting arrested was taken by his wife I believe last summer..The cops just love arresting this guy!

Sunday, March 29, 2009


Well, when you are partying over at C squat there is really just one thing to do and that is take each other's blood pressure! That way we can make sure that everyone is healthy and no one is getting beer poisoning. We used to use the toy Stethoscope..you know-"My first stethoscope" by Fisher Price. That one worked fine, but now we have a real one! You will be happy to know that everyone was healthy as a horse,..Not the kind of horse that breaks its leg so it gets shot and people make glue out of it, but the healthy kind of horse. The one that has good blood pressure. Yeah.

For some reason everyone being in good health really pissed off the dogs that were in the room...as you can see in the bottom photos. Go figure!

Jes and Brett Adam Dog Columbo Dog

In other news I saw my favorite fellow ED at Ray's the other night. He was all clean shaven, wearing a new spring jacket and talking about how he needs a wife. A Chinese one, preferably...Then he did what Ed always does and told me about all the rapes and murders he saw on the TV that night. I love him!

Friday, March 27, 2009

Almost locked in Tompkins Bathroom with cutest roach ever!

Whilst making a tinkle in the Tompkins Square Park bathroom the other night, I suddenly heard the sound of the door being shut and keys being jangled..I realized they were about to lock the door and I yelled, "Halt and desist!!!" They hadn't realized anyone was in there I guess...but would it really have been so bad if I had been locked in? I had food with me, water, and a plethora of toilets in which to make doody and peepee in. There weren't even any drunks or junkies camped out in the last stall! And best of all, there was the cutest lil roach on there named Shlomo! I named him Shlomo because he looked a little jewish to me. Isn't he adorable?? He has a kind, gentle face and you can tell he likes long walks on the beach and the amusing house wine at his local eatery. Oh the fun we could have had! We would have talked into the wee hours of the morning and confided our deepest secrets to one another...We might have even had a late night pillow fight had there been pillows laying about!

Then when they finally opened the bathroom doors at 7:00 a.m. to find me laying on the floor half mad with roaches and maggots feasting on my innards, the city would have had a big fat fucking lawsuit on their hands!!! JUST KIDDING!!! You know how I love to kid!

Anyhoo, on my way home later that evening I saw some police officers helping out two women who were from out of town. They had their car broken into and seemed pretty upset..Maybe they should have made a similar sign to the one I saw in the car featured in the bottom photo.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Demonic Squirrels PLUS Biggest TV ever thrown away!

I love the black squirrels in Tompkins Square Park. They are completely black-no hint of gray at all. Apparently, in the UK there are MUTANT! black squirrels even! Check it out: Mutants!They are really pretty and cool looking..though my photos reveal the truth. That they are possibly minions of hell bent on destroying everyone and everything you've ever cared about in this world..Well, whatever..they still look pretty cool.

The other photos are of some trash on East 9th st. that I came across. BIGGEST FREAKING TV EVER!!!! I'm five feet tall..so you can see how big the damn thing was. Did they throw it out because they got an even bigger one? Or did they finally come to realize that it was controlling their lives and they would be better off buying a faberge egg that is just as huge but a lot more of a conversation piece?

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Down with the Sickness

I'm sick so I've been trying to stay indoors..Well, I had to record friday afternoon which went fine due to mass amounts of cold medicine..Then we played last night which went ok, but I felt delirious the whole night..Couldn't wait to come home and lay down. Our new cd is coming along..9 songs down that sound pretty good. Dom Flemons and Eli Smith sat in on banjo and harmonica and sounded great.

There is so much good stuff on youtube..I've been watching all night..I don't know if you can upload stuff from youtube on here-I couldn't figure it out dammit. But I found this great weird film called The Secret Adventures Of Tom Thumb on there in all its entirety..6 parts all together. I LOVE this film-it's beyond creepy. And I saw Little Otik is on there too..that's another strange one. And this bizarro banned cartoon that someone posted.. CreepyShit

Friday, March 20, 2009

Teen angst.

The other day I stopped by the Tompkins Library to see a panel of young adult authors read old stuff they wrote when they were in junior high and/or high school. I love young adult fiction-though I'm in my 30's I read the stuff all the time. Partly because I am trying to write my own YA novel, and partly because I just like it. The reason I stopped by was because Scott Westerfeld was speaking..I love his "Uglies" trilogy..and so do many others judging by the amount of folks who showed up to hear him, both young and old. The panel was really funny..their old writings were so painfully bad. They could barely get through them because the whole room was in hysterics...Scott won the crown and the title "King of Suck" because his writing was voted the worst..They were all pretty damn bad..and now they represent the most popular authors in YA fiction. The pics I took are pretty lame..they all have demonic eyes and look annoyed I was snapping pics..Such is the price of fame!

Well, if my YA novel never gets written or doesn't sell I can always try to write some Dr. Seuss in yiddish I guess...

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

A Video from Biker Bill to Biker Billy the chef.

Tonight Biker Bill was in a mood..and that mood was pissed off! That pansy assed chef Biker Billy is out there in the world receiving all the accolades and respect that come when your name is Biker Billy..yet he is a total tool. One might even call him an ass clown..So here is a little video I took of Biker Bill sending a message out to Biker Billy the chef. And if you've guessed that Biker Bill is not fond of Biker Billy, then you guessed right!

Monday, March 16, 2009

Myspace Versus Facebook

I will admit that I am addicted to Myspace..Oh, the fun I had! Uploading photos, sending out bulletins, posting obscene horrifying photos on my friends pages(until photobucket deleted them all)..It's a dumb site but it is fun..There are so many hilarious fake profiles on there..There are pages for God, Satan, a toilet bowl, a dildo, serial killers..just about anyone you can think of. My friend made a page called A Photograpic Study of Myspace where he steals all the really disturbing, crazy photos that weirdos have up and collects them onto one page. Myspace even has a founder that everyone loves to hate..Tom Anderson, or as I call him Fake Tom. The real Tom isn't on there anymore(if he ever was), but the corporation that bought myspace acts like he is..He is in charge of the place and people love to make fun of him as you can see in these pics I posted.

Now everyone is in love with Facebook. Facebook is where all your old childhood friends are..People post links and stuff but it just doesn't have that psychotic edge that myspace does. People there just constantly update what they are going to eat at every meal and that they have a headache. I miss myspace..Myspace needs to entice people back to their site..Offer everyone free candy or something. I post weird stuff on facebook and everyone seems confused and uncomfortable. I have the urge to update what my bowel movements look like every day-complete with photos-but I have a feeling if I did that everyone would delete me. I never thought I would write a blog complaining about how no one goes on myspace anymore..but there it is.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Someone violated my terms of service..

At least that's how my head feels today after numerous glasses of white wine last night. I am so glad we played at jalopy..What a great night of music..We had fun playing, and Dom, Blind Boy, Eli and Elizabeth Butters were sounding amazing..It really felt like a special night. I guess that's why I got wasted and giggled like a moron for hours..Then I got home and apparently sent all these drunk emails out to authors that I like on myspace telling them how much they mean to me..I guess it was appreciated judging by the nice emails I got back from them today thanking me..It made me really confused for a few minutes until I checked my sent mail! Whee! My head is aching! White wine=delicious=pain. I must keep that in mind.

Well, at least I didn't put anything like LOL! in those emails or ROTFL or whatever the hell all those cute terms are that people have for abbreviating their messages and emails..I actually have some of my own that I use frequently. Like SYTYDW stands for Shut Your Trap You Dirty Whore. And IWFYSTMCMC, is obviously short for I Will Feed Your Spleen To My Crazy Mexican Cat. And how can I leave out YTYACSCBITYAAHC. Yes, that's right..it's You Think You Are Crazy Sexy Cool But I Think You Are A Huge Cockwad. I do use these cute little fun phrases often! I also often get these weird, confused emails back from friends telling me I need "help" and that I'm "really screwed up." But life is strange!

So here's a nice pic that my friend Steven Aloyisis took of us playing yesterday. And a pic of a solution to drunk emailing.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Today kinda sucked.

Well, now I'm sort of drunk so I feel ok, but today was just kinda bad. John and I found out our friend and fellow musician Bob Guida passed away today. Apparently he had a heart attack..Bob was a great person. Beyond talented-he was one of The Otis Brothers and was just an incredible musician. We have played many shows with the Otis Brothers, and he always amazed me with how good he sounded and how laid back he was when he performed with Pat Conte. He would be chomping on gum or a toothpick and just be so relaxed on stage, and somehow project his voice so the whole world could hear it...If you search on youtube for Otis Brothers there's all kinds of footage of Bob playing..all of it just amazing. Bob was always extremely kind to me...making sure to tell me that I sounded good after a gig because I'm always so insecure about playing out..Today the world lost a great big guy who had a great big heart. RIP Bob...You WILL be missed.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Shayne Speak.

Hmmm..Not too much to write about lately...John and I are playing a short set at Jalopy tomorrow with Dom Flemons, Feral Foster, and Blind Boy Paxton so that should be fun..anyway, the free wine I get will be fun for me! The other day was so nice and spring-like and now it sucks again. I'm trying to figure out if I can sue the weatherman somehow over this. There has to be a way to cash in!

I did hang out with my friend Pezent Shayne who says the wackiest things..Let's see...He stated that Daylight Savings was a gyp and someone should figure out a way where we gain an hour in the winter AND in the spring. He seemed pretty outraged over this. Then while I was speaking to his girlfriend Jes on the phone, he told me to tell her that, "It's okay to almost get arrested." Then he mentioned that fireworks are not good wall insulation.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Whose watching the Watchmen?

I for one thought Watchmen was really well done. Saw it tonight in IMAX which is NEAT-O in case anyone was wondering...I read some of the lousy reviews saying the actors weren't allowed to bring anything to their roles and it was TOO faithful to the comic..It was incredibly faithful for sure..some changes to the ending but nothing that bothered me too much. I LOVED the fact that so much of it looked exactly like the panels of the comic book. I was really blown away that this movie finally got made and that obviously so much time was spent trying to make the comic come alive exactly as it was written. When I read stuff online about Keanu Reeves playing Dr. Manhattan or Tom Cruise maybe cast as Adrian, the nerd in me cringes. I felt thrilled with this film and relieved... I was scared they were going to change it and make it ridiculous..give it a happy sunshiny ending where everyone teleports to Cabo San Lucas and drinks fruity drinks while working on their tans. Apparently Alan Moore wants nothing to due with Hollywood and the film industry, but I would like to believe he is okay with what they did with this. A film should be made about Moore himself I think...he's quite the character. This is from his Wikipedia page:

......Moore was born in Northampton, England to brewery worker Ernest Moore and printer Sylvia Doreen. He lived in a very poor area, and was expelled from school in 1970 at the age of 17 for dealing LSD,[13] later describing himself as "one of the world's most inept LSD dealers".[14] With his first wife, Phyllis, he had two daughters, Amber and Leah. The couple also had a mutual lover Deborah.[15] In time, Phyllis, Deborah and the two children left Moore. [16] On 12 May 2007, he married Melinda Gebbie, with whom he has worked on several comics.[17] He currently lives in Northampton. He is a vegetarian, an anarchist,[18] a practicing magician and occultist, and he worships a Roman snake-deity named Glycon, which he acknowledges to be a "complete hoax.".....

I mean , how great is this man? I just love him to pieces..

On a separate note I saw Jack Ferver in the subway on the way downtown from the film..He played Jimmy Tickles on the best TV show ever created, "Strangers With Candy." He is also The Little Lad in that weird Starbursts ad (berries and cream, berries and cream, I'm a little lad who loves berries and cream!!!)... Jack is awesome and has a dance show going on at St. Marks Church in April..I'm going check it out-it's got to be interesting!

Behold, The Little Lad:

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Virgin gives it up..

I guess the rumors are true and Virgin MegaStore is closing both locations..Times Square AND Union Square...Circuit City is shutting down too..and there is a whisper in the air about Walmart taking over the spot where the MegaWhore once was. That shiteous Kmart on Astor Place is enough. Now there's going to be a freaking Walmart here? I used to read a lot of horror novels and one of my favorite authors Bentley Little wrote this book called The Store. It was about an evil Walmart type place that took over towns and made horrific events transpire. It caused people to commit rape and murder..anyhoo, that's what will probably happen if they open here. I did a shit-ton of research too, yes, a shit-ton, and Virgins closing is DIRECTLY related to them not carrying CD's by East River String Band. This may sound hard to believe, but believe me..after hours and hours of googling my own name and updating my status on FACEBOOK, there is just no doubt in my mind about this. I am a professional when it comes to this internets web thingy, after all.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Random Crap.

Not much happening lately...I am in denial about the snow and freezing temperatures outside so i've been indoors a lot..Pretty dull, but i try to keep busy by sliding the take-out menus back out into the hallway a second after they slide them under the door. I like hearing the confused silence out in the hallway as they try to decide whether to try again...It's also a lot of fun to try and keep the telemarketers on the phone as long as possible when they call to sell me shit..I keep telling them how lonely I am and then start reading to them from TV Guide. I did go out today for a bit and took some photos..The first couple are of the wonderful Whole Earth Vegan Bakery on St. Marks by Avenue A. This place has been under threat of eviction for years now, but are somehow hanging in there. Peter, the owner, is awesome and I try to support them as much as possible even if I just buy the day old two dollar specials that they have out daily. They still taste pretty damn good! Whole Earth is Reverend Billy approved...I just love Rev. Billy and am ever so pleased that he is running for mayor! He's totally got my vote, unless of course David Cross decides to run too. That dirty beer ad is in the window of someone's apartment on 7th St. This window looks like a storefront of a great old junk store..but I think it is just someone's apartment who decided to put a bunch of cool old stuff in their window. There's all kinds of old puppets and vintage toys on display as well... Half of the shops on East 7th st. seem to be closed now...It's a bad luck block for retail it seems. I hope the Whole Earth Bakery sticks around, unlike the pricey dress shop I saw today which had the sign displayed in the bottom photo.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Weather is all about ratings..

I went outside today to play in the blizzard that they keep predicting...I waited and waited and then got cold and came home. Now, I love Mr. G as much as the next gal..with his bright smile, sassy one-liners, and perfectly placed toupee...But the weather is BULLSHIT! I think they predict major storms nowadays just for the ratings. They predict inches and inches of snow and it snows about half an inch..Aren't they ashamed to lie to the american people like that? I remember in that film about Henry Darger, In the Realms of the Unreal, Darger was so OCD that he began keeping a journal about all the weather reports and how often they were wrong. He wrote something like, "The weathermen are making fools of themselves!" I'm sure it will snow at some point but I have completely lost faith. Now I feel like an ass for going to the supermarket and knocking down all those little old ladies to get to that last gallon of milk and loaf of wonder bread. Oh well, that'll learn them to get out of my way! These are random pics I took the other night. The first is my buddy Erin's adorable and huge dog Freya..Freya is hilarious..she is huge and really vocal and can smell a chicken bone from a mile away. The other one is Erin hiding behind a painting that Tanya Pann did..I always think of George Burns when I see this painting.. John and I have a double date next week with Erin and her boyfriend Alex to go see Watchmen in IMAX. I'm tempted to come in costume to this event..not as a character from the comic or movie or anything, but just as a giant hot dog or something...Just for kicks, ya know.