Friday, March 27, 2009

Almost locked in Tompkins Bathroom with cutest roach ever!

Whilst making a tinkle in the Tompkins Square Park bathroom the other night, I suddenly heard the sound of the door being shut and keys being jangled..I realized they were about to lock the door and I yelled, "Halt and desist!!!" They hadn't realized anyone was in there I guess...but would it really have been so bad if I had been locked in? I had food with me, water, and a plethora of toilets in which to make doody and peepee in. There weren't even any drunks or junkies camped out in the last stall! And best of all, there was the cutest lil roach on there named Shlomo! I named him Shlomo because he looked a little jewish to me. Isn't he adorable?? He has a kind, gentle face and you can tell he likes long walks on the beach and the amusing house wine at his local eatery. Oh the fun we could have had! We would have talked into the wee hours of the morning and confided our deepest secrets to one another...We might have even had a late night pillow fight had there been pillows laying about!

Then when they finally opened the bathroom doors at 7:00 a.m. to find me laying on the floor half mad with roaches and maggots feasting on my innards, the city would have had a big fat fucking lawsuit on their hands!!! JUST KIDDING!!! You know how I love to kid!

Anyhoo, on my way home later that evening I saw some police officers helping out two women who were from out of town. They had their car broken into and seemed pretty upset..Maybe they should have made a similar sign to the one I saw in the car featured in the bottom photo.

7 comments:

  1. Eden, please don't tell me those bathroom tiles are 9"x 9"!

    Little Shlomo looks like such a mensch! Well, I'll bet he knows where all the good eateries are around town!

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  2. That is a freakin' big cockroach. My pal lives in NYC and sez the roaches are everywhere and your friends. She sees an army of 'em marching past her apartment door every morning. How nice of them to protect this young damsel in the big city!

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  3. Ha! I like your plan... except the city doesn't have any money left to pay the lawsuit! Maybe they could give you something else...Hmm, East River Park?

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  4. Some places in this world the people eat cock roaches .They say tasty ,choclaty on the outside , cherry flavored on the inside . Believe me no matter how long you might have been trapped you would have been well entertained and nourished by these little buggers in this TSP rest room ...or for that matter any park restroom in this town .

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  5. People in some parts of this world eat cockroaches . They say tasty :choclaty on the outside , cherry flavored on the inside . No matter how long you remained incarcerated in the ladies room you would never need starve .

    With all these little buggers scurrying about one would never lack for nourishment and entertainment in a TSP rest room .

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  6. Eden...you would have been fine had you gotten locked in the bathroom,("Little shop of horrors"),because later that night;in the wee hours,a Demonic squirrel would have broken in there and tried to eat you! But,just when you thought your life was over,Shlomo attacks the Demonic squirrel in your defense! Of course Shlomo is eaten in your defense;as you make your escape to spend the rest of the night safely in the burglerd' automobile!!! Once again,a well deserved happy ending for the "Benevolence"!!!!

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  7. Brett-I just re-read your comment while I was drinking coffee..and I laughed and coffee dribbled out of my nose. Just thought you should know!

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