Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Sticky Party Bus.

Last week I spotted a "Party Bus" parked in front of Csquat..These bus's seem to drive annoying people around, dropping them off at different bars so they can get drunk all over town. Usually when I spot one of these monstrosities I run after it screaming,"Take me with you!" at the top of my lungs..However this one was just parked and sitting there. The passengers stumbled out, all dressed up in 20's clothes for some reason, and ran to some lame bar...so my friends and I boarded the empty bus to see what it was like in there. I have to admit it was pretty nice..a small bar, a mirrored ceiling, red plush velvet seats in the back..I asked the driver what exactly went on in there. He said ALMOST everything..Hmmm...Obviously there are drugs being done in there, probably some forms of SEX-O, and maybe some midget tossing and cat juggling. Then the guy got mad when I snapped his picture and kicked us all off saying he had to clean the bus. Well, the seats did seem kind of sticky...(Yeah-I'm fucking gross!)

7 comments:

  1. I bet those plush velvet seats are holding a wild and festive party of crabs!

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  2. It looks sticky! Ah, those pesky pub crawl urchins! ...When I got to the 'ALMOST everything' part of your post, I actually laughed (of course my humor is a bit skewed most of the time); I started envisioning drunken reveling slobs, dressed in white smocks, sitting on the bus with microscopes, passing around plastic models of molecules of diseases and discussing the etiologies and possible cures of various invasive bacteria and viruses as they nodded very clinically and dispassionately to each other...then I wondered if there ever was a guy who booked a spot on the bus to try to meet a potential sex partner; and, as he nervously worried about his monkish bald spot on the top of his head, he sighed in relief at the dim lighting on the bus upon boarding only to obsess fretfully at his discovery of the ceiling mirror. Then I got the urge for some chocolate and forgot all about the bus...

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  3. And I bet those crabs have the CLAP!
    Brett-your comments are simply wondrous! I love you!
    When I saw the mirrored ceilings the first thing I thought of was how they managed to do lines on it without the blow falling to the floor..

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  4. So... this is what Hell looks like?

    P.S.
    What lame bar did they run into...?

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  5. That East Village Tavern on Avenue C and 10th st. I think..Cause everyone knows that Avenue C is the new "east village."

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  6. Eden! Do you think if Reverend Billy becomes our Mayor,that he might replace all of the current city buses with these???

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  7. actually, once, one of these buses let a bunch of mars bar patrons board, and! ride around all over town with them. i mean, like, people i didn't even want in the bar for obvious reasons. totally impressive and it saved my night.

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