Saturday, May 2, 2009

I've come to hate my body, and all that it requires in this world..

Sometimes I just get really tired of all the attention the human body requires..You don't shower for one day and your armpits stink...people's feet smell, their breath smells, all their cavities need constant attention. Deodorant, toothpaste, toilet paper, floss, razors or getting much money and time spent on keeping all of our human grossness at bay..I have just grown weary of puking and voiding urine and shitting. And what about the wax build-up in my ears that could be happening as I type this? Or the hairs that could be growing right this minute on various parts of my body? Can't they just leave me be? Is death the only option? Wait-but doesn't hair continue to grow even after we die for a while? I just don't know...If there is a god would he/she have created Anal Fissures?

Anyway, I'm going to go play outside..Have a nice day!


  1. Tell me about it! Earwax is the worst for me, as my right ear canal is, for some reason, considerably more narrow than my left one. Wax builds up and can not be removed by usual methods. I have to hold hydrogen peroxide in it then flush with warm water like four times a week. If I don't, I have trouble hearing properly when I play music with other people, especially singing harmony or when I am playing in a noisy club. It is a royal pain in the arse! At least that is the problem: I briefly thought I was losing my hearing, which was scary. The truly sad part of this personal grooming dilemma is that it only gets worse as one ages. Hair grows in the least attractive places (I have a spot in the center of my lower back just above the pants line that grows hair now??! Farts smell like an old man just died, body odor smells like a Rastafarian who is refraining from bathing to worship Jah, Breath is more foul, feet smell--like Roquefort cheese that has been left on the dashboard of a car in summer--if anything but white socks are worn, and I really hate to shave everyday but look like an old, unshaven wino if I don't (at least, if I am clean shaven, people can say, "look at how clean shaven that old wino is?!"...okay, now I am depressed, and I smell bad, too! I really can stink when I get depressed...

  2. Your stinky depression had just made my anal fissures worsen. Great. I'm old and in the way.

  3. Your hair doesn't grow after death...your body shrivels on death so that hair only appears to grow. So there's something to look forward to.