Saturday, August 8, 2009

Biker Bill still waiting to cage fight Biker Billy the chef!

This here is the latest installment in the Biker Bill Versus Biker Billy the Chef series..I think you will all agree that it is on par with any Coppola or Scorsese film. We have Biker Bill at Ray's Candy Store challenging Biker Billy the Chef to come to NYC. Jimmy the Greek is there too..and we see a quick glimpse of the busy Ray serving up some food...Ray has many bills to pay and is always on the verge of being shut down..Business has been slow..If Biker Bill kicks Biker Billy the Chef's ass up and down Avenue A, its bound to bring in a crowd..C'mon chef boy! Come to Ray's and say hi! You can even pee in the Pee Phone!

Anyway, I'm sure once Biker Billy the Chef sees himself being called an ass clown, ass bandit, and turd he will get in touch with me and we can set it all up..CAGE FIGHT! CAGE FIGHT!

Those little dried up fishes are redunkulous! I went to Brighton Beach a few days ago and found FISH JERKY in the bodegas! Complete with tails still on! It is so disgusting! I made myself eat two before I admitted it was gross..Then I couldn't give the things cats wouldn't even eat them. I thought about giving them to the weird guy that was hanging out in the PEE PHONE all night..he might have taken them but I didn't want to initiate contact..The fact that he was drinking like a maniac and screaming at everyone who walked by wasn't giving me a good vibe. But who knows? Fish Jerky could have changed his life!

Get in touch, Biker Billy the Chef! We are counting on ya!


  1. I guess my first thought was, "okay, now this is just really one big tease...I know Biker Billy, the Ass Clown, will never show his face, and we will NEVER get to see him get his ass kicked up and down the street!" But then, I HAVE seen you and your cadre of compatriots pull off some amazing shit before--at least heard tell of such anyway. AYAND, on the level of life and art alternately following each other, this works on so many levels; if this brawl can come to fruition, and all of the proper attention to detail and promotion (and basic videography) can manifest, not only will that fraud of a chef get his just desserts (get it? chef--desserts), but the masses will flock to Ray's for some soft cones, freedom fries, and to see a genuine ass kickin'! The real Biker Bill will take his rightful place as king of the hill, Ray will get some well-deserved customer traffic, and you will have made a short-film tour de force worthy of sleeper box office success! And don't stop at Sundance or Montreal--hell no--make them beg for it at Cannes too!!...often the right answer offers many solutions! ...Okay...I wasn't going to say ATE FISH JERKY???????!!!!!!! I guess I shouldn't judge; I have eaten some stuff in my time that could be considered quite questionable, but that's another story...

  2. I want to write something witty and funny right now..but I ate FISH JERKY and have felt weird ever since..I tried to throw them back into the ocean but they just floated there-belly up..I think it was their belly-i don't know..I'm so cold...and

  3. Ass clown!!! Ass bandit!!! Fish jerky!!! Haw!!! I am so proud of you Eden!!! Please keep it coming...I am in stitches....