Thursday, October 15, 2009

The Unbearable Lightness of Pooping.

Well, last night our new upstairs neighbor took a shower and basically this caused our bathroom ceiling to cave in! Well, this has been coming for a while..but I slept like 3 hours all night in between emptying buckets of water to catch the leaks trickling down..But sucks out anyway so i am watching movies and reading all day while the wonderful men from Matel demo our bathroom and put up new sheetrock. It had to get done at any rate. We only had some of my pink paint in the house in which to paint the newly sheet rocked ceiling with..The guy seemed hesitant, but I assured him that John LOVES pink and it would be cool with him..heehee..Ah well, I like watching people do construction as long as I don't have to do it. Sheet rocking a ceiling SUCKS, with a capital UCKS.

So here's some gross pics of the Pee Phone I took last night as I walked by Ray's..Someone made a big, steaming caca in there and lucky me! I got to immortalize this glorious dump. That, and the fact that my cat Harlequinn crapped on my bed last night just fills me with joy. There were some napkins laying around the phone too, so at least they may have wiped. One can only hope..nothing worse than skidmarks in your undies, right? Right? Right?...I think I am delerious..Whee!

oh, and if you get really sick this winter, be sure to run to KMART for your flu vaccine! They throw in some government cheese if you are first on line. Blue Light Special on vaccines! One day only!!! You are practically LOSING money by not going there! Maybe Martha Stewart herself will stick a needle in you!


  1. As I read this, I thought you had installed SMELL-O'-RAMA! But then I realized it is I. I missed an opportunity a couple of hours ago to move those bowels through to the elimination stages. Now, I'm a little bound up. Luckily, when I use my laptop I sit with my knees higher than my hips, so things should get started--TOOT SWEET! If ya' know what I'm sayin'! AND, let me just say one word: FIBER! It adds bulk, believe you me! AS much as I am not into product endorsement, I have to say two words: Charmin® baby! No Soviet Union issue paper for this peacenik! I don't care how long the Cold War has been over, the Russians ain't passing that stuff off on me! They can sell that crap to Southeast Asia if they have to! ...OOPS! Gotta go..................................

  2. When you gotta go, I guess you gotta go...

  3. I shit my pants the last time I drank two cans of Steel Reserve.

  4. Charmin® Ultra Soft is the SHIT, pardon my pun. It's akin to wiping your ass with the downy feathers of a rare three-toed sloth that you hunted down and strangled with your bare hands. Toot Sweet! Ha! Cheap TP is NO bargain, I know that much. The next post will definitely be in SMELL-O-VISION. You will practically taste the Steel Reserve as it struggles its way into your bloodstream.

  5. They should scoop it up.

    Man or dog, it has got to go.