Sunday, June 29, 2014

Some Summery Stuff and LIQUID WEED.

MEIN GOTT! I leave NYC for much of the summer one week from tomorrow! I can't wait! I have the hot weather I wanted the last few weeks and the week ahead and I am running around every night seeing friends and making merry. In between buying stuff I need for Europe and getting all loose ends tied up. Everything is working out perfectly including the fact that I not only have a TAN now but I am back to my regular weight after working hard all winter and spring to lose what I gained. In fact, some guy just told me i am too skinny now and my head is too big for my body and they miss my giant butt. Yay!
Wow, that pic that is first is HUGE and it is of my mom who was stopped on the street to pose for some Advanced Modeling site. She is upset it is older women but was happy about all the comments saying how hot she looks. Sigh...
I have video from the rent freeze rally at Cooper...and pics and video from the Drag Parade at Tompkins but just don't have the time to upload it now. Hopefully before I go I will get around to it.
In the meantime here are some summer pics for you, constant readers of my shit.
A guy with a hotdog stand was across from Ray's the other night but he was nice and when I screamed at him he said he loved Ray and went there when he was a kid and he would probably move to another corner. Then we made sweet sweet love amongst the summer sausages. Okay, that part didn't happen. I think. I was drunk so who knows.
Then all these weird "stunt cars" were lined up by Crif Dogs. They said I could get in one but that didn't sound NOT TERRIFYING so I just took a pic. There were maybe ten of the things.
Someone threw out their EDIBLE ARRANGEMENT plant thingy. And someone else scored a puppy calendar to cuddle with.
There is a sign to be careful of the baby hawks that may be flying around the park up at the dog run and best of all there is now a Cannabis Energy drink! Now who would laugh at that buxom young stoned beauty? She just wants to chillax and drink liquid weed. Is that a sin? I cannot wait until weed is really legal and the crazy ads are everywhere. I am sure the companies got them raring to go.
Great taste, half the calories and twice the paranoia!

Thursday, June 19, 2014

NYC has Big Thing!

Look at all these lovely photos! Who doesn't want to eat a burger from a half priced sushi place with ramen noodles on top of it? That is at Zen sushi on St Marks whose cheap prices just went up by quite a bit so they are not so cheap anymore. This is a sad day. I want my dead raw fish half off dammit!
I won't be in NYC on Sunday to see the Strawberry Shortcake eating contest but I am sure it is going to be a swell time! That is at the Avenue A Farmer's Market.
At Tompkins, that guy in stilts went to play basketball with some kids and was not welcomed so he stilted his way out of the park. Now that the grass is open he should have just layed out in the sun and tanned his wooden legs to a fine oak brown.
The bottom pic is of some art that was being sold on 2nd ave and 1st st the other day. Seems like vendors are just setting up shop in random places now which is nice to see. Above that is who knows what. Someone ripped that dolls head off and tied it around that pole and it wasn't me. Weird!
And well...that lonely sign is up all down 2nd ave and I have no idea if it is real or not but I think it is a joke/prank sort of thing. If it's not..well that is pretty sad. And strange. And please let this person not have my phone number!

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Summer Summer Summer! And the Mystery Trail of Donuts.

Fuck spring! It's 85 degrees all week, I am already tan, I dropped about 20lbs since January and I am ready for ONE BILLION DEGREE WEATHER. You read that right. No rest until we are all on fire!
Of course, as soon as it gets hot in NYC the number of crazies on the streets multiplies ten fold leaving me to wonder where were all these people over the winter? Did they vacation in the virgin islands? Did they see the weather forecast here, drop their drinks with the umbrellas in them and hop on a plane so they could be here and run down the street with their pants down screaming? I hope so!
AnySpooge, that pic on the bottom is a book about 78rpm collectors and John is the entire first chapter. Haven't read the whole thing yet but kinda fun to see us described in print with a mention of our band and everything. It comes out July 8th-this is an advance copy. She KEENLY OBSERVES that I am "striking" looking and have a 90210 pencil case and lots of vintage clothing. So basically this is the best book in the world and the most truthful! Well, it is the best book except for the book John is going to be writing which Abrams Publishing is putting out. So excited! Its going to have two CD inserts too. One of us and one of the random old time bands from his 78 collection. Probsbly no Crumb cover but Robert may do the intro. So John and I will both be writing at the same time all summer, fall and winter and into next year. Plus, his literary agent likes my stuff too!
Then we have the Ribbon Man of union square above that. He is there every day usually with a big ribbon blanket set up doing who knows what with all those ribbons. I suppose this is what is called a Ribbon Rager. He enjoys spinning around in circles a lot too. Also, he is my hero.
THEN last week I saw a mysterious thing happening by the 9th precinct. This person ran over with a box, took some items out of the box, strewed them about and left the entire thing in front of the cop shop.
When I walked over to see what it all was about LO AND BEHOLD they had left a trail of bagels and donuts leading up to the entrance of the police station. I think this is a pretty nice thing to do in case people can't find the entrance and need some help.
The donuts looked freshly made and the bagels were plentiful. Sesame, onion, plain...I was so excited and confused by all the choices that I didn't eat any of it. It was simply overwhelming and I had to go lay down with a cool compress on my head for the rest of the night.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Alexis Karl's Darwin's Nightmare show in Brooklyn.

A few weeks ago I went to see my friend spin fire at a warehouse on bergen street in brooklyn. It turned out to be a great gallery exhibit featuring the works of Alexis Karl who also plays in the band Ondyne's Demise who performed there AND makes perfume! A multi-talented gal, the space was full of human/animal hybrid paintings, crystal skull sculptures with antlers and girls dancing around to ambient music twirling scarves as they writhed around the artwork. This was the closing night but more info about Alexis can be found here:

Here are some pics of the paintings, sculptures and a video of Erin fire spinning for the crowd. I ended up at some rooftop party later that night and then on Avenue A until the sun came up. So yes, it is finally summer!

Monday, June 2, 2014

Le Blog.

I leave for France/Spain/possibly UK or Rome or wherever the heck I have friends at in 5 weeks and I am way behind in WEIRD PICS posts but now I am trying to get ahead. Get it? A HEAD BECAUSE I POSTED PICS OF SEVERED HEADS! AHAHAHA! Wow, those improv comedy classes at UCB really paid off, huh? Whenever I see improv classes in Tompkins doing the "yes, and..." bit I feel vaguely ill. Why don't they post jokes on twitter like a normal crazy person?
AnyBoobs, here is Dave at the dog run with one of his famous t-shirts on. Actually I wanted to get a photo of the one he had on yesterday where everything was spelled wrong but my new phone lets me take about 10 photos before it is out of storage space. If I deleted the 15 minute long video of the BRO puking into the street during SantaCon it would probably help but why on earth would I do that? I told Dave to look at this post so if you are reading this HEY DAVE I AM READY FOR KAROAKE THIS WEEK AS LONG AS WE DO ELTON JOHN AND KIKI DEE!
Then there are the heads on sticks. There were more than these three but my phone had no room so this is all I have. One was across from my place and when I tried to freak John out by making it peek out of the closet I was told I had to put it back on the street where I found it and that it probably has bedbugs. Look at that face! She doesn't have bedbugs! She's been to the clinic and our love is clean!
I have no idea what is up with those but I would like to see more of them. In NYC and all over the world if possible.
Then I walked by Coyote Ugly which they are renovating and I snapped a pic of the last piece of graffiti on the wall before they painted over it. Maybe they weren't allowed on the bar but I get the feeling a lot of dicks were allowed in that bar.
And another pet sign but this one is a cat that has been found so there goes my theory about aliens taking all of our cats. I did not deface that sign with that dirty dirty comment because I am not that kind and I don't use words like that you cock sucking vagina penis fuck taint scrotelick fart dick dorkel dufus!
I don't know if there is a special sale on or what but I have seen some pretty bad personalized license plates around the LES and EV lately and here is one example of that. Yeah it IS a bummer that I am going to come back later when I am blacked out drunk and key your car!
Just kidding if any cops or the owner of that car is reading this!
I need to do a post about my friends gallery closing party in brooklyn last week and I will do that in a few days but right now I am annoyed that the grass in Tompkins is closed. It is usually open by now and it is not closed because they reseeded it. It's so lush that it's overgrown now and needs to be mowed. I don't think they are opening the grass this summer at all. No films are being shown and if you hop the fence the cops say to leave or they will give you a $50 ticket. My theory is that its part of the Clean up Tompkins BS and they are sweeping any areas where the crusty kids can sleep and hang out in. But it's really irritating. Everyone is tanning on the ground outside the fence and all the hula hoopers look sad and lost. I like practicing guitar and writing in the grass and I can also hide from nut jobs in there that I may not want to see. Dog Run is good for that too but I really wish they would just open it up. I intend to write my congresspersons about this, start an online petition, write a 500 page manifesto, shout about it at Union Square through a bullhorn or maybe just ask one of the park gardeners about it. Who's fucking park? Their fucking park! Thank, Obama!